两情若是久长时 又岂在猪猪肉肉

昨日,最高法推出一项数据统计,说全国离婚纠纷中,有14.86%系因家庭暴力发生,逾九成是男性对女性实施,广东地区案件量排名第一。

看到这条报道,让我有两条联想:

第一条,是小时候最怕在电视里看到的画面,不是贞子从井里爬出来,而是冯(安)远(嘉)征(和)那张面目狰狞的脸,《不要和陌生人说话》得是多少人童年的阴影。

第二条是联想到前两天的一则新闻——“河南永城10位新娘“零彩礼”出嫁,女方母亲面无表情”。

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这两条联想看似毫无瓜葛,但我认为,大有联系

就收彩礼而言,是古往今来的惯例。穷人打光棍儿,祖孙三代一起给儿孙攒老婆本儿。所谓的老婆本儿,就是家宅和彩礼。彩礼是要结婚送给女方家长的,所以都不是小数目。

而女方家长收这笔钱财的初衷是什么?家中有男孩,也需要老婆本儿;或者是无男孩需要养老用的。

这在旧时代也说得通,因为历来中华文明强调男尊女卑,一家之主多为男性。帝王多是男性,入朝为官者也基本是男性。女子无才便是德,所以女性被贴上了弱势群体的标签,无法享受和男性同等的权利,所以在嫁出去的时候,女方父母作为弱势群体的一方,需要相应的经济补偿。

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所以,要彩礼一说,可以认为是将女性至于弱势群体的一种带有很强的性别歧视的行为。

而这一风气,在男女平等当下似乎还很流行,加上电视台无休止地丑化等原因,所以,丈母娘这个词慢慢演变成了弥散在社会的一种毒——“尖酸、刻薄,炒高了房价,亵渎了爱情”。

可是话说回来,这是千年的历史所积,光靠社会自然推动是不够的。因为,一旦涉及到钱,就会有利益方,就不变得不那么单纯——比如说金店、礼仪公司、地产商,所以礼金一事,问题不都在丈母娘的身上,是社会多方面因素的共同结果。 Continue Reading

一叶知春 Pretty Pictures of Flowers that Bloom in Late Winter and Early Spring

十年可见春去秋来,
百年可证生老病死,
千年可叹王朝更替,
万年可见斗转星移。

凡人如果用一天的视野,去窥探百万年的天地,是否就如同井底之蛙。

Ten years can see the changes of four seasons,
One hundred years can see the birth, old, illness and death of one’s life,
The millennium year can see the prosperity and defeat of a dynasty,
Ten thousand years can see the whole world moving around from A to Z.

If mortals use the vision of a day to snoop into the world for millions of years, it is like a frog in the bottom of the well.

昨天看《天行九歌》,这一段反复看了三遍,面对千古一帝嬴政,韩非子不卑不亢地说出这么一番“知春秋,晓古今,悉生死”的辩证法,果然很韩非子

Yesterday I watched “The Skywalking Nine Songs”. I watched this part over and over again. When Han Feizi faced the questions from the eternal king of his era, he uttered the truth of life. “Knowing the Spring and Autumn, Divining the Ancient, Seeing the Present, Observing Birth and Death”. I was attracted by his great thoughts.

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When I was taking photos of the green leaves at the tree branches, the soft wind was whipping my cheeks. I realized that Spring has arrived, though the weather is still quite cold in Suzhou. I think Spring is the most beautiful season here.

当我在狂拍树梢上的红花绿叶时,柔软的风在拂动我的脸颊。尽管天气还是很寒冷,春姑娘原来已经早早到来了,春天是四季里最美的季节。

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娱乐访访古

“小妹妹送我的郎啊,送到了大门儿北啊!一抬头我就看见了王八驼石碑啊。若问这王八犯了什么罪啊?只因为他说相声,桌子挡住了腿。”
——小岳岳的《送情郎》

由于前段时间疯狂回顾德云社的经典段子,起初没在意岳云鹏的一段小曲儿,怎料得,太过于魔性,被牢牢地脑内循环,索性写出来,求解脱。

现在的大朋友们和小朋友们除了戏校或专业人士,大概都不会再碰传统戏曲和民间小调了。失传我是不担心的了,这么多大大小小的戏剧和戏曲学校,每年都有好多孩子报名学习,前途也好。不过,普通大众并不愿意去看去听,流行歌曲会被翻唱了烂了、吐了,选秀照看。

传统的戏曲也该拓宽一下认知了,小朋友们也要知道《沙家浜》是什么,也能哼上几句黄梅小调才好。

我是差点进了戏校的人,爸爸会戏,所以我是深有感触。

当经济发展到了一定程度,文化的发展和历史的传承是也会有水涨船高之势头的。

记得当年有一位刚满22岁的同事跟我聊天,说一天在地铁上听几个00后在娱乐八卦,听歌没聊二次元,竟然听的是周杰伦和林俊杰,她说她放心了。虽然是一句玩笑,但道理是通的。

就像家有老的宅子,翻一翻,也许不经意哪个角落里会滚出两块儿银元来

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Happy Farmhouse 太湖边,漫山岛的农家乐

I went to see the 漫山岛 to have a dinner beside the beautiful Taihu Lake last weekend. It was by far the best restaurant I visited in 2018. If you ever have the chance to visit Suzhou, I highly recommend this place. All the dishes are so fresh and delicious, though they may not look that good on photos. Now I prefer to eat at the farmhouse. All the restaurants in the city is so boring. Their dishes look so good on photos, but all these taste the same to me. I am in love with the fresh cooking style in the countryside.

上周末我去看漫山岛吃农家乐,坐落于美丽的太湖边。这是迄今为止我在2018年访问过的最好的餐厅。如果你有机会参观苏州,我强烈推荐这个地方。所有的菜都非常新鲜和美味,虽然他们在照片上看起来不太好。现在我更喜欢在农家吃饭。感觉城市里所以的彩色都很单调。他们的菜肴在照片上看起来不错,但所有这些对我来说味道都一样。我更偏爱农家菜新鲜的烹饪风格。

Marinated shrimp with Wine

醉虾

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When this dish is brought on our table, the shrimps are still alive and kicking. It tastes good.

虾子上桌的时候是活蹦乱跳的,看得超级有食欲。

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“一入吃鸡深似海,从此农药是路人”——观《头号玩家》有感

荧幕的神奇在于,当你凝视之时,会来到一个全新的世界,试听感官之外,思我所思。

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一条好的剧情线索和动人或唯美的画面,再或者震撼人心的场景音效都是一部影片的基本。一本好的影片,其实你认为它好,是要能带给你一些认同感。最起码,你懂得当中所渗透出来的意思,它在引导大众什么样的趋向——对事物的价值趋向。

所以,每个人都有特别喜欢的影片类型

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憧憬高尚爱情的人,喜欢文艺影片或者轻喜剧;也有一些人崇尚纯粹和热血,那么他们可能会是战争片的粉丝;偶像时装片也有市场,因为很多人透过影片研习时尚。 Continue Reading

天行九歌矣

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诸子百家,我只服韩非

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王道德儒
人性为善,循循诱之,天下大同。
仁爱人,而后有孝,孝为本,而立纲常。
父子君臣,成规矩方圆。
修身、齐家、治国再平天下,一脉而来。

霸道邢法
世人皆恶,防微杜渐,王孙亦然。
邢论典,重而严惩,刑连坐,无得漏网。
违法必惩,则普天皆畏。
严刑、峻法莫敢言,治乱安内。

儒以德治,行王仁道。望臣民感而恩之,君贤民朴,求世事之向荣。然,美也,虚无而缥缈,梦则幻。可得锦上而添花,而非乱世之良药。
故,儒不以为本,乃盛世催化工具尔。

刑法可平异己,防变。乱世重器,斩荆棘,除乱党,安社稷。但法过厉,内并未能安,或瞬息之势,非长久之计。
遂,峻法非长效,仅乱世平定之快剑矣。

诸子百家,各行其道。一味拘泥非能成正果,当效韩子王孙,集大成,感世之变化,方能成势,而为。

Enjoy Best Moment of Plum Blossom Scenery 梅海之约:乍暖还寒时,春意料峭中

乍暖还寒时,
春意料峭中,
相约十里梅林,
繁花如海荡漾,若雪满地;
层层叠叠,犹如风吹麦浪。

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Hope everyone is doing great. Workdays are going by fast! Sometimes, I need to work overnight to get everything done. I try to relax on weekend. My parents came to Suzhou for a visit. I am so fortunate to live not too far away from my parents. We could get together every month to travel or have dinner. It is great to enjoy good food and good company with my parents. The weather at Suzhou is more spring-like this month.

首先祝大家工作日愉快。这周的工作日过得超快,我一直在通宵加班。周末必须放松一下。这周,苏州的天气更像春天,或者说春天已经来了。老爸老妈周末来了苏州看梅花。很幸运,老爸老妈住的地方离我不远,两小时的车程,我们可以经常一起周末周边游,有父母陪伴的周末时光,是我这周的一大乐事。

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“A City A Story” photo weekly contest #22: Green COLOR 江南春光,最美人间四月天

Fair Southern shore with scenes I adore.
At sunrise riverside flowers redder than fire, In spring green waves grow as blue as sapphire.
Which I can’t but admire.

江南好,风景旧曾谙。
日出江花红胜火,春来江水绿如蓝。
能不忆江南?

Good morning lovelies! It is Spring here in Suzhou, and summer is in the corner. So happy to be back in Suzhou after spending a 3-day holiday in my hometown during the Qingming Festival. My holiday was full of love hat feeling of hope when we think about the days spent with the passed ones. Today I am showing my entry for “A City A Story” photo weekly contest #22 COLOR hosted by @aaronli. I planned this green theme photo series to show the beautiful spring time in our city.

早安,各位!现在的苏州是最美的春季,夏天即将到来。在清明节期间,在家乡度过3天的假期,Ethan他家缅怀亲人的仪式感很足,一家人有着共同的回忆,一起追忆亲人,回忆过去,很有爱。今天这篇文章写来参加@aaronli主办的“A City A Story”照片每周比赛#22 COLOR的作品。我计划这个绿色的主题照片系列,展现江南美丽的春天。

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Small bridges and flowing waters , white walls and dark grey roof tiles match one another in tranquil elegance

苏州的街巷临河,小桥流水,粉墙黛瓦,简静雅洁。

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When I saw the theme of this contest: COLOR, what comes to my mind is: wow, our city definitely has NO colors for its architecture, ONLY white wall and black tiles. Yes, our city looks like a painting of ink and wash. Old street and deep lane, Water bridge, sheltered in the rain, like the watch of missing 1,000 years.

看到这一期的主题是色彩的时候,我第一反应的是“MD,我们大苏州的建筑没有色彩!”为了保持古城的风貌,苏州政府会统一建筑色彩,都是粉墙黛瓦。记得平江路一家潮店很时尚的翻新成了红色的墙面,我去拍照的时候发现,一片粉墙黛瓦中,一面复古的砖红色,好看的紧。可惜第二天就被勒令整改,给刷白回来。我们大苏州必须是那道白月光,隐在烟雨迷蒙中,恍若千年一叹的守望。

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Self-made Frog Meat Fish Head Hotpot 好吃不上火,自制美蛙鱼头火锅

There’s something a little magical when cooking for your loved ones at the weekends. The Frog Meat Fish Head Hotpot is quite popular, and my favorite restaurant is too far way, and there is no place to park my car. Last weekend, I am trying how to make frog head hot pot at home? The main material is Frog and fish head. The frog tastes tender and smooth, with fish soup. The soup is delicious, quite spicy but not dry. High-temperature boiled fish head mixed with the frog, they make each other become more delicious.

苏城最近刮起了一阵美蛙鱼头风,不过老天桥蛙炉火锅真心难停车,资深吃货周末在家琢磨怎么自制美蛙鱼头火锅,有没有人要来拜师学艺?美蛙鱼头火锅的主要材料是花鲢鱼头跟牛蛙,牛蛙入口细嫩爽滑,加上鱼汤,锅底鲜香,辣而不燥。高温火煮后的鱼头去除腥味,味道恰好能与美蛙的鲜味融合在一起,鱼头的鲜味也可以让美蛙变得更加鲜美。蛙肉和鱼肉都属于性味偏凉的食物,真正的好吃不上火。

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Raw Materials:

原材料

Fish head, bullfrog, mushrooms, and potatoes

鱼头,去皮牛蛙,香菇,土豆

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Running with my Best friends at Shantang Ancient Town 日月交换,光影渐暗

The new year holiday is over, which left me a lot of work to do. I am crazy busy this week. But when I am thinking about what I have been up to, there is nothing. I only found 1000+ photos in my camera.That is a truth that I have spent time visiting around and taking pictures during the holiday.

新年假期结束了,假期给我留下了很多很多没有做完的工作,所以这周超级超级忙。但是回头想想自己大概做了哪些,似乎什么都没有。庆幸的是,假期里我拍了很多照片。

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Until I work my way to sort out and pick some pictures to post, I’ll just post a few from the last few days. We just got back from my hometown, where we spent 7 days to celebrating the Chinese new year. Lots of fun with our family & friends! It was also fun seeing a few relatives and eating delicious food. If you are from some places nearby, my hometown is a good place to visit.

在我把这些照片归类整理之前,我只会在最近几天游玩的一些照片。我刚从家乡回来,在那里度过了7天,庆祝中国新年。与我们的家人和老朋友一起庆祝新年,有很多乐趣,最起码拿到了很多大红包!也拍了一些老家的风光,蓝天白云,草儿青青,牛儿哞哞。

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We had a super fun when we were running around the Shantang Street. I have went through a few pictures and I a, excited to share today. The city I live is so beautiful. The pictures surprised us all.

我们在绕着美丽的山塘街上跑了一圈。小家碧玉的苏城真心太美丽了。

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I went on a girls trip with @veronicazhu and @sunnyjolly. They are my two besties that I worked with. Now it’s hard to find a time where we can all get together since now we are not work at the same place anymore. So we are aiming for at least once a month. I love them. I feel the time with them is super quick. I wish the time could slow up.

我与@veronicazhu@sunnyjolly一起的不带老公参加的聚会。她们俩都是我的中国好闺蜜。现在很难找到一个时间聚会,因为现在我们不在同一个地方工作。所以我们计划每个月至少要聚会一次。

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I have taken more pictures at the sunset I want to share then tomorrow. Hope you will like them.

我还拍了很多山塘街夕阳西下的照片,明天会分享。希望你会喜欢他们。

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